Sunday, January 20, 2008
Eeeeew! A RAT in my house!
A PACK rat that is. Not a collector of beautiful things. Not a keeper of sentimental momentos. No! I'm talking about a rat whose nest was filled with papers and wrappers and empty shoe boxes and not so empty shoe boxes filled with . . . . . stuff. No! Not stuff. Stuff is useful. Stuff is pretty. Stuff has purpose. OH! And SOCKS! You know all those socks that have disappeared from your washer and dryer over the years? Well, the one footed alien who has been stealing them and hoarding them for the day when his entire planet full of one footed aliens comes to visit him here on earth . . . .he's been hiding them in this rat's nest! And that nest was in MY house. Notice the word WAS. I was finally able to convince the incredibly handsome and talented son of mine (aka "the rat") that he needed to come by and CLEAN OUT HIS ROOM! The room is a normal sized bedroom. Not large by any stretch of the immagination. The closet is not a walk in. Just your normal bedroom closet. The dresser has been gone for months, as has the desk. For that matter, so has the son. But we're moving! We're trying to get this house ready to sell. One thing holding us up was "the nest". While having a room in a house that is already "prepared" for and by a teenage boy might be a great selling point to some people, others may not appreciate the uh . . . certain ambience distinctive only to the teenage male of our species. So, for two days after work he came by to work on sorting and purging and packing. Sorting produced one rather large box full of clothes that could be passed down to another up and coming teenage rat - oops - uh - boy, three totes full of "keepers", two totes full of "yard sale", one load of dirty laundry (did I mention that he hasn't lived here for several months? Where it was hiding, I have NO earthly idea), a basket full of socks with no mates and . . . . drumroll please . . . . . FOUR EXTRA LARGE SQUARE TRASH CANS ON WHEELS FULLOF TRASH!!!! Not garbage, mind you. Just TRASH. I have NO idea where it all came from. There must be secret compartments hidden all over that room. A trap door leading to a full basement where there are other "rats" residing? I don't know. What I do know, is that now I'll finally be able to get in there and spackle and paint and stage. I'll try my best to search out and seal up the secret compartments and the trap doors so that future homeowners will never have to deal with this experience. Does anyone know of an environmentally friendly repellent I can use? I talked to our exterminator and he tells me he's raised 4 boys and NOTHING in his 20 some-odd-years as a professional exterminator has worked in his house. I just hope that I've at least gotten it under control. I feel certain the little one legged alien will find another "nest" to store his stockpile of stollen socks. I also feel certain, judging by the look on my future daughter-in-law's face, that the "rat" that used to reside in my son's room had best skedaddle long BEFORE they get married or face the wrath of a sweet, petite little Italian exterminator!